The Tunlight Report: Sounds Like Sunlight but It is Tunlight

Denny Nelson was born and raised in agricultural country where educational and practical experiences centered on farming not journalism. He could tell you that 'green mountains' made for fluffy mashed potatoes but growing potatoes and learning to write stories didn't mix. Northern winters are 'wicked' but literary critics are brutal and he doesn't know which is worse. Heck, he didn't know what a 'dangling participle' was until the critics pointed them out. Then when he mentioned 'science fiction' and the 'Soviet Union', the critics said, 'oxymoron'. 'Huh?' Were they insulting him? In any event, strange things happened during his forty-four years of federal service. Nelson learned not to take events for their face value but to look at them with imaginative slants. That process resulted in plausible explanations for disasters that otherwise seemed to have a less than satisfactory explanation. For instance, did Flight 800, after a loss of aerodynamics and the front of the plane, actually make a controlled ascent before exploding; or did a cluster of compressed bubble really doom Columbia? There must have been a common denominator for these and other inadequately explained catastrophes so the Tunlight theory was formulated. Hmm, maybe there must be some truth in The Tunlight Report as, since its revelation, there have been no more unexplained disasters.